Didn't I Used to Be a Man?

Ah yes, memories.

February 17 is a funny day for me. First time I kissed my high school girlfriend was Feb 17, and the day I met my college girlfriend was Feb. 17. My first high school girlfriend kiss took place at a party after a basketball game – matter of fact the party was at Troy Allen’s, whose name later was legally changed to Troy “Circling Over Your Relationship Like a Buzzard, waiting for it to Die So I Can Swoop in and Fuck Your Girlfriend” Allen. You know those guys. 8 seconds after you break up he pops up outta nowhere and is all in her grill. Douchebag. ANYways, I mustered up the gumption to ask her outside, to sit in will Acree’s car to “talk.” So we get in the back seat and I…well, I start talking. And talking. And talking. I’m actually blathering on and on about the stupid game as she stares at me wondering if I dig dudes. Finally in the middle of one of my cleverly crafted anecdotes about the game I just lean in and POW! plant one on her. I lean back, thrilled outta my mind, awash in new teenage love and…well. Start talking again. Right in mid-sentence from where I had left off. Blah blah fucking blah “…and then Coach he leans over and says blah blah blah blah” Christ. Anyways I guess we made out some more, then went back in to the party. Me abuzz in my case of love, her…well, she probably had a buzz on. Also, Febuaury 17 here is ironic, since that's the day Michael Jordan was born. He of course played in Chicago, which is where the last girl I was in love with moved to. Ah yes. The sweet, horrible cycle of life.

As does usually happen in small towns as mine, the second my girlfriend could break away from my clutches and go to college, she realized there were other guys out there - guys who had traveled the world, guys who had money and were smart, guys who didn't still think making fart noises with your hand in your armpit was funny. So she canned my ass. I later came to realize that high school first loves always mean more to boys than to girls - girls seem to somehow know that this is just a young love thing, that there's more out there. Dudes are a little more nostalgic, maybe cling to that first one a little more. Oh, not that they're not being assholes the entire time, but it still is more confusing for them when it ends than for girls. For instance, the fact that I even remember our first kiss, and the date, and the car etc. I'm sure she doesn't. I don't mean that in a cold or mean way, I don't mean that she should. It's just how it is I reckon.