Birthday Supper

The three people are completing a dismal birthday supper. Stanley looks sullen. Stella is embarrassed and mad.

My college girlfriend's mother hated me. She was a bitter, angry bitch to begin with, and for some reason she thought I was some sort of "bad boy." I don't know why; like anybody else I could be called a lot of things, but even when I was 20-21 and really crack-a-lacking some pussy, "bad boy" was not one of them.

Anyways, on my 21st birthday my girlfriend and I went out to dinner in Richmond, where she and her mother (divorced) lived. Probably at The Robin Inn, ie the restaurant I discovered baked spaghetti. Mmmmm. Even though it was my big 2-1 we weren't out drinking or going crazy or anything, and upon bringing her home my girlfriend wanted me to come upstairs, she had something for me (heh heh heh.)

We walk through the door and next thing you know the mother is going apeshit on us - she didn't know where we were, what we doing etc etc. And then she's yelling at me for being so disrespectful, bringing her home "late." Of course, we were in college, I don't know what that was about (later her dad, who was REALLY cool and introduced me to the stand-up of Sinbad, asked what I said back to her. When I said "nothing," he laughed and said "smart man.") Obviously this was an incredibly horrible, embarrassing scene that I just wanted to end as quickly as possible, but next thing you know I'm sitting there with my girlfriend holding out a little birthday cake she had made for me; candle lit, and tears streaming down her face as she bawled from sheer embarrassment. Jesus christ. I looked over at her standing there - smoking hot, slim tanned body squeezed into a leather mini-skirt and sleeveless white shirt with one too many buttons undone.

Unfortunately, that was the mom.