Commercials.

I like those commercials for the Army on tv where some mid-to-upper class kid comes to the dinner table and announces to his parents that instead of going to college, he's going into the Army to "do his duty," and of course the dad wells up with pride at his son becoming a man right in front of him. The reason I like them is, of course, not only are they incredibly faggy, but probably not very close to anything that ever really happens, at least not with members of the human race that live on Earth. I think in real life, it might go like this:

(Dinner table. Mom, Pop. In walks Junior.)

JUNIOR: Mom, Dad. I've made a decision. I'm not going to college. I'm joining the Army, to do my duty and protect America's freedom.
FATHER: Excuse me, but are you out of your fucking mind?
JUNIOR: Dad, I wanna do my part.
FATHER: You wanna "do your part"? Did you hear this Mother, your son wants to "do his part." (Mother pretends not to hear anything.) Listen, shitforbrains, I spend 20 fucking years working around the clock so you can go to fucking college, and now you're telling me you're gonna stand around in a desert hoping to get shot at? Are you fucking shitting me?
JUNIOR: you served, Dad. I just wanna be like you.
FATHER: yes, I served - I was a fucking idiot!!!! I couldn't haven't gotten into a college with a fucking key!!
JUNIOR: well, I-
FATHER : (to mother) Do you hear you son? Are you listening to this? (Mother pretends not to hear anything.) Listen to me, you little shit - you're going to college. I didn't work two jobs for years so that you could be a fucking idiot. For fuck's sake, I could've bought a goddam boat instead!!!!
JUNIOR: Dad, I just -
FATHER: Sit down, shut the fuck up and I don't wanna hear this bullshit again. A fucking boat!!!!! (son crying now.)

END SCENE