Does Ben Roethelsberger Have the Worst Lawyer in the World?

(note: there is no way in hell I've spelled his last name correctly throughout this post, and to be honest I've given up trying)

I think we can all agree that Ben Roethelsberger is a pig and complete douchebag. I think we can all agree that we'd rather leave our sisters and daughters in a room with a bag of snakes than Big Ben and an appletini. And personally I could give two shits if the NFL kicks him out of the league, makes him play left-handed or shoots him into outer space via pneumatic tubes made out of Larry King's asshole.

But Mike and Mike on ESPN had Ben's lawyer on this morning, and after about 10 minutes of incoherent blathering, all I could pick out from him is

1) Ben's embarrassed that alcohol was involved, since alcohol in particular embarrasses the league
2) Ben will come out of this fine because, get this, he is a "winner."

What?

I am not a lawyer. I have never studied the law. Yes, I read One L. Yes, one time Marley and I recorded a song together. One of the first girls I ever had a crush on, her father was a lawyer. Despite these things, in no way do I consider myself an expert on the law. But while Ben will be slaughtered in the court of public opinion, I would think the one person that would defend him would be, you know, his lawyer. If I'm Ben's lawyer, I think I say something along the lines of "Ben Roethelsberger, the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the entire city of Pittsburgh have been done a grave disservice by the whims of a young girl who thought it was okay to illegally drink while underage with alcohol from a complete stranger and a district attorney who thought it was perfectly fine to air the dirty laundry of a case that doesn't exist, which could be considered libel. Or slander - whichever one is talking, not writing. I literally missed that day in law school."

Instead, this guy is on national tv and radio saying Ben will be fine for no other reason than he's a "winner."

It's okay if the world stands 5,999,999,999 to 1 against Ben Roethelsberger. But the 1 shouldn't be such a fucking idiot.