Of course, I hope she's having better luck than me....
3) Wedding C (summer 1999) – wedding upstate of an old college buddy of mine. Went there stag (surprise!) and this turned out to be one of those magical times where there’s a lone single HOT chick there and all she wants to do is drown her sorrows from being 27 and single in a bottle of champale and fuck the lone single guy there. He could be in a fucking wheelchair with genital warts on his eyeballs, she’s hooking up with him. So this girl latches onto me, so what does our hero Xmastime do? Drinks his face off – to the point where she’s pleading ‘hey, slow down, we ‘re gonna be fucking in a little while.” Does this curb my dumbness? Nyet. And just to make sure my ineveitable whiskey-dick wasn’t enough to speed my amazing plummet past the depths of loserdom no man should ever face in his lifetime I saw to it that someone took PLEEEENTY of pictures of my running around the parking lot with a chocolate cake and smearing it all over my naked body. Woke up the next morning naked save my penny loafers. “Another good night!” I smirked to myself as I ran though my pockets, absolutley sure that I had gotten whatshernames phone number. Sigh. WEDDINGS 3, XMASTIME 0 MORE HERE....
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