Sunday, May 30, 2010

Don't Forget to Be Noxiously Fake This Weekend!

Oh, for fuck's sake. I see Sniffella duVille has jumped out in first place of the "show everybody what a super-patriot you are by talking about the troops' sacrifice" Olympics that all our leaders are forced to play, each trying to out-do the other with the waterworks. And of course the ones that bleat the loudest are also the ones so desperate to shoot our troops into another war, like Gen. Dwight D. Eisensniffer here. Hey, we know it's fucking Memorial Day. Funny how anyone with a fucking yap feels the need to lightly chastise us and remind us to remember that the holiday isn't about hot dogs and beer when it's actually CALLED Memorial Day, right? And every time, they feel like they're the ones who just came up with it, the very first one, right? "Hey, everybody have fun this weekend, but don't forget..." blah blah blah.

I'd like to see a politician say "Hey, Memorial Day weekend, that's awesome - I'm gonna eat and drink my face off for three days. Monday I ain't gotta work, so fuck yall. One Memorial Day I had some Asian poon tickle my balls, you best know for damn sure I ain't forgetting that shit."

Ugh. The faux solemnity is exhausting.

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