Thursday, May 06, 2010

Salads.

Contrary to how fat I am, I actually like salads. If placed in front of me, I'm perfectly happy to eat a salad. And I'm very aware that of all people, I should be eating salads every day.

But while it's not like you're digging a ditch or some shit, taking the time to make a salad is JUUUUUUUST enough of a pain in the ass to be a deterrent. 20 minutes of fucking chopping/cleaning etc etc for a pile of grass. Salads can be good, but they're not gonna inspire you like a fucking steak from Luger's or some shit, you know.

But to BUY a salad means you're forking over $8-$15 for basically a pile of lettuce that you and everybody around you knows costs about forty fucking cents. Which, unless you have so much money you have no idea how the salad costs anyway, is inexcusable. And not happening.

Sigh. :(

Also - if you spell salad backwards and add another L (for "lettuce"!), you get "Dallas," and those motherfuckers shot Kennedy, so you'll excuse me if I am a BIT leery.

7 comments:

andtheend said...

i think i tried to hire you a few years back JUST to make salads for me, as i love them but can't be bothered to make them for myself. i think you declined. oh, and ps, my word verification to comment on this post was "colon."

Xmastime said...

oh, i remember that.

ATE: ill pay you $70,000/year to make me 2 salads a day.

XMAS: fuck you! you dont own me!

(end scene)

Anonymous said...

Real men use frame 313.

The Gnat said...

Didn't the State do a skit on "Everyone loves to eat, but hates to prepare the salad, let's drive around the neighborhood with trunk full of salad?"

Xmastime said...

not sure, dont remember that one. love the state! :)

mamalizza said...

just buy the pre-washed lettuce already.

my word verification to comment was: queef

The Gnat said...

I vaguely remember Ken marino as one of the two entrepeneurs. Shannon hates when I do the impression.