"At That Moment, I WAS a Marine Biologist"

Yesterday I saw a dude on the train in regular clothes, but with a stethoscope around his neck. Genius,  I thought -  anyone can buy a stethoscope, right? Then stroll around, and have the ladies think I'm a doctor!  Yes!!!!

Then it occurred to me wait, knowing my luck, the first time I tried it some dude in the room would collapse, and everyone would be looking at me to save the guy's life.

Then it occurred to me holy shit dude, how fucking close ARE you to finally becoming George Costanza? Wow.