Chinese Restaurants and Dan Quayle: Still Using Mailers.

Dan Quayle's son is running for Congress in Arizona, and since Arizona is in some sort of desperate race with South Carolina for the title of "State That Wants to Be Seen as Completely Batshit While Simultaneously Making You Wonder Why It Exists in the First Place," he has apparently sent out a mailer that spends a lot of time blathering on and on about how much family means to him, and here it is:

...the problem seems to be that Quayle hanging out with what his campaign spokesman calls "impossibly cute kids" is misleading since he doesn't have any children, so of course there's a shitstorm of accusations of deceit.

But maybe this wasn't some sort of staged photo op after all, maybe Quayle just likes hanging out with little girls. I mean, maybe he doesn't have any friends his own age, and he just hangs out at the local Tasty Freeze and invites little girls to come sit on his lap and hug him. I mean, I DOUBT he stole these little girls, I doubt he has them in a tool shed in his backyard. He seems like a nice guy. He was probably just sitting there outside a random Brownies meeting being held and probably casually mentioned very matter-of-factly that he had Barbie dolls and chocolate chip cookies in his pockets, and these impossibly cute kids came running over to see, and someone took a picture, and that's all. It's just a day in the life of Quayle, so what's the big deal if they're not actually his daughters?

Besides, if they WERE his daughters it would make it even weirder that they would've chosen this particular picture since it looks like the two girls are jerking him off. So calm the fuck down, liberal fags.