Across Five Aprils

I haven't been keeping up with The Jersey Shore this season, so imagine my surprise upon finding out that this once proud family of orange midgets has found itself divided against one another, cleaved in half by lies and betrayal. But I guess if a people can be divided by something like human slavery and sectionalism, why can't it be from one side being furious that the other side is pissed that the first side sent an anonymous note about the second side's boyfriend fucking everything in Miami that moves, despite the fact that them anonymously planting a note instead of simply telling the other side the truth to their face should have rendered a response of anger as being impossible to surprise?

Sigh.  Pray for them, America.