Fish Fillet War

Other than solid white albacore out of a can, I do not eat seafood (not counting eating crabs, which I call "drinking beer and bullshitting for a few hours before going to Burger King.") In general I find it to be, much like having an actual reason to get out of bed in the morning, incredibly repulsive.

So I don't know why I even read THIS POST on the McDonald's Fillet of Fish vs. Wendy's, wherein the writer voted in favor of McDonald's:

Picking a winner was tough, but McDonald's eked out a win. Wendy's had a better bun, bigger sandwich, better sauce, and great, crispy breading—but when I bit into the Filet-O-Fish, it was juicy, meaty fish. There may have been too much tartar sauce, and the cheese-and-fish combo may turn some off. (It's a cardinal sin in Italy—"Pesce con formaggio? Mai!") But at McDonald's, I felt like I had a Fish Sandwich, not a Fish-stick sandwich. Yes, the meat of the sandwich factored heavily in my decision. But when it comes down to it, isn't that so much of what a sandwich is all about?

But for some reason I found it compelling enough to forward to Rrthur (YES, ladies, THAT Rrthur) to get his opinion on the matter, Rrthur (YES, ladies, STILL that Rrthur) being the resident expert on fast food seafood. Besides being the only person in the world to actually order these sandwiches, he even orders things like the clams whenever we go to White Castle (and then have the onions to bitch about how "gross" they were afterwards...I'm like dude, it's White Castle...the fucking bottled water has rat fur and glue in it!.) And this is what he wrote back:

well, mcd's has the worst fish sandwich ever. AND it's tiny. wendys is head and shoulders above save the tartar sauce which is essentially mayo with a dill aftertaste and essentially worthless. usually dry as a bone. also: I'm way into dudes.

So that's one for Wendy's one for Mickey D's. So I said fuck it, and decided to walk over to McDonald's and try one myself for the first time ever. I will admit I was kind of dreading it; I figured I'd take one bite and then retch like a mf before throwing the rest away. Actually looking at the sandwich didn't help things much.

Well, at least they take great pride in their presentation. McPerfectionists, indeed!

No, Kim Kardashian didn't just walk in front of me; I believe they call that "tartar sauce."

Anyways, I must admit I was pleasantly surprised. I wouldn't use the word "scrumptious," but, after decades of hoovering up shit at McDonald's without even tasting it, there was something about an entirely new taste that was somewhat pleasing (note to self: give "yellow fever" a chance.) Now, like I said, I'm not a seafood expert so I have no idea if it tasted anything like fish, but I don't think I'd mind ordering it again. 

Maybe tomorrow I'll drag my ass to Wendy's to try their version.

Sigh. McDonald's - they even have me eating fish!  Is there NOTHING these people cannot do?!?!?!?