Sniff 'n Beck

She rudely adds that “it’s a wonder you can talk at all...living in this house and all its Shaker ways. You’d get better than a D in English if you were a fearing Baptist.” At these words, Robert’s heart almost stops beating. He has heard about the Baptists, who “put you in water to see how holy you were. . .If you didn’t come up, you got dead and your mortal soul went to Hell. But if you did come up, it was even worse. You had to be a Baptist.” - A Day No Pigs Would Die

Apparently Sniffy & Becky are having a clandestine-but-not-really event in Alaska on 9/11, presumably to compete and see which one can out-fetishize the other on maudlin sincerity about freedom and Jesus, and one of the hot topics is to scurry about and wonder if this will be the moment Sniffy announces her candidacy for the 2012 presidential race.

Please.

Sarah Palin would be incredibly shitty at a job that requires intense critical thinking coupled with a lifetime of intellectual and philosophical study and curiosity, to say nothing of a diplomatic tightrope she defiantly eschews in favor of bombast and certitude. Even in the smallest of jobs engaging in situations that remotely deal with reality she would be a complete disaster.  But Sarah Palin is incredibly good at BEING SARAH PALIN!  And she's clever enough to know that the worst thing she could do would be to actually run for president, since doing so would mean she'd hafta give up her "will she or won't she?" dangling-of-the-carrot status that she could hang onto for as long as she wants, collecting absurd dough for not really hard work while manipulating the media and her audience in whatever way she wants to. Or, even more to her own horror, she'd hafta actually BE THE PRESIDENT, which she'd enjoy for about 30 seconds. I think the only person more horrified than me to wake up on January 21, 2013 and realize that Sarah Palin is the president would be Sarah Palin.

Of course I HOPE she runs, the unintentional comedy would be off the charts. But even I don't think she's dumb enough to.