Trees Are Going to Die For This?

Snooki is writing a "novel":

In a sign that publishers are desperate enough to sacrifice class for cash, Snooki from Jersey Shore will be publishing a novel, titled “A Shore Thing.”  The Snooki book shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise, as many of the Jersey Shore stars are trying to extend their 15 minutes of fame as long as possible, with The Situation pitching everything from supplements to vodka.

Surprisingly, the publisher will be Simon & Schuster, an institution that used to be considered legitimate.  According to Snooki, the novel will be “revolve around a girl looking for love on the boardwalk (one full of big hair, dark tans, and fights galore),” which makes it seem more like a memoir than anything.

It's hard to believe the person that would be such a trash bag of stupidity so as to read this actually exists, but here we are. It'll probably be a best-seller. I'd hate to be the brilliant writer who's dedicated his life thus far to his craft that's being told this morning "sorry, but we're passing on your book because a less-interesting version of Garfield the cat has decided to allow our ghostwriters to cobble together enough of her tweets to pretend to write a novel between keg stands. Good luck with your career at Blockbuster."