C is for Cookie

The cost of all the wars has officially hit our most valuable of troops: The Girl Scouts.

As the annual selling season gets under way for the organization's iconic cookies, Girl Scouts councils are beginning to say adios to Dulce de Leche, no thanks to Thank U Berry Munch and farewell to a whole slew of other varieties added in recent years.


To cut costs and increase revenue, a dozen Girl Scouts councils are testing out a plan to hawk just six different cookies.

First of all, as long as they keep selling my Tagalongs, I could give two fuckitty-fucks what they sell or don't sell.

But seriously, once someone even kind of commits to looking at the list of flavors to choose from, who really pulls away and says "oh, you're not selling my raspberry-drizzle fuckpig cookies this year, so no thanks"? Wouldn't you just feel like a complete asshole while the girl is standing there? So why sell more than a handful of different ones to fucking sell? People know it's for a good cause. It's not fucking Ben & Jerry's for chrissake. Give the little girl $3, eat your goddam cookies and then you'll have something to talk about when you take her to prom a decade later.