Election

As a prank to make him look foolish, the older boys of Walnut Grove school nominate the object of their practical jokes, gentle Elmer Dobkins, to run for class president against popular Mary Ingalls and wealthy Nellie Oleson. While Mary and Nellie wage their campaigns with promises of popcorn and gum balls, Mr. Dobkins witnesses his son being teased by the older boys and, when he finds out why Elmer was nominated, angrily orders him to pull out of the election. But, when election day comes and the race seems too close to call, a cruel act and children tired of being bullied decide the outcome.

The Election episode of Little House on the Prairie has always been my favorite episode, since it lets me do my favorite things: seethe with burning, white-hot rage at the bullying of weaker kids, in particular one that can fairly be described as a bit of a half-wit. And then seethe with burning, white-hot rage at the exclusionary tactics of elementary school politics (NOT inviting Mary & Half-Pint to your fucking party, Nellie? FUCK YOU!)  And then seethe with burning, white-hot rage at the very idea of setting up the half-wit (the "are you kidding me, that's a bit spot-on, isn't it?"-named "Elmer") to make him feel like he has friends when all they're doing is setting him up to look foolish. And then seethe with burning, white-hot rage at the exclusionary tactics of elementary school politics AGAIN when Nellie arranges it so nobody comes Mary's party (not letting her come to your fucking party just wasn't enough, was it Nellie Oleson YOU BITCH I HATE YOU!!!!!!) And then as a bonus getting to seethe with burning, white-hot rage while watching a father have to watch his son be bullied and made a fool of.

And then, at the very end, getting to curl up in my Care Bears nightgown amidst all my stuffed animals and sobbing like a baby at Elmer's election day non-speech, which in the end sticks it to his biggest adversaries, the red-headed kid and the guy next to him (the Ralph and Potsie of the prarie, if they were about 70 years younger and complete douchebags) and, as usual, teaches us right from wrong - usually Michael Landon takes the lead in staring at justice and bubbling up with a clenched jaw, but this time he lets his girls handle the waterworks. Also, the little girl in the orange dress surely became a Mrs. Xmastime.