/* MOBILE FIX: stop forcing desktop min-width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } .date-header { background: #000 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .date-header span { background: transparent !important; } .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; } /* --- XMastime fixes: titles + date bars + mobile --- */ /* Post titles: stop random centering */ h3.post-title, h2.post-title, .post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* Date header: make the black bar extend full width */ .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* Mobile: stop forcing huge desktop width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* FORCE post titles consistent */ .post-title, .post-title a, h2.post-title, h3.post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* FORCE full-width date bar across common Blogger structures */ .date-header, .date-header span, .post-header, .post-header-line-1, .post-header-line-1 span, .post-outer .post-header-line-1, .post-outer .post-header, .blog-posts .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; margin: 0 !important; } /* prevent inner bits from “breaking” the bar */ .date-header *, .post-header *, .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* MOBILE: stop the fixed 1218px width behavior */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body, .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* DATE HEADER: make the black bar go full width */ .date-outer, /* FORCE FULL WIDTH DATE BAR NO MATTER WHAT */ .date-outer, .date-posts, .date-posts h2, .date-posts h3, .date-header, h2.date-header, h3.date-header { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 10px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; margin: 0 0 18px 0 !important; } /* force the TEXT itself orange and remove any weird inner box */ .date-posts span, .date-header span, .date-posts h2 span, .date-posts h3 span { background: transparent !important; color: #ff6600 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; } -->

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Regis Retiring

Why the fuck is Regis retiring? What the hell's he gonna do? I'll tell you what he's gonna do: sit in his kitchen in his goddam bathrobe yammering to anybody who will fucking listen. So why stop doing it on tv? At least now he gets to paw at Pamela Anderson's titties ("Hey, I'm an old man!") and hang out with George Clooney so he can feel "like one of the boys!" People retiring from jobs they'd do at home anyway is a weird thing. Why the hell would I leave my job at the masturbation plant?

I will now respectfully step back whilst you, my most loyal fans, flood ABC with an insanely prolific write-in campaign to make me his replacement on the show.
at

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