It's impossible to read about the guy who's suicide attempt was blown by piled-up garbage without thinking about this Seinfeld riff.
I mean, it's a cute story and all, but as a city we should check in about a week from now and make sure the guy finally kills himself. You can do it, buddy!
Then again, this guy's gonna be getting an unbelievable amount of pussy now that he's every woman's dream: he's famous, and apparently can't commit. Great.
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