Great Lines in Sitcom History

D.J. Conner: [confronted about why he has been sneaking off to church] Mom, I wanted to tell you. I just had some questions about God and stuff.
Roseanne Conner: Well, so why didn't you come to us if you had questions? You know, there's no two better people to answer your questions than me and your Dad.
D.J. Conner: Okay. What religion are we?
Roseanne Conner: I have no idea. Dan?
Dan Conner: Well... my family's Pentacostal on Mom's side, Baptist on my Dad's. Your Mom's Mom was Lutheran and her Dad was Jewish.
D.J. Conner: So what do we believe?
Roseanne Conner: Well... we believe in, ah, being good. So basically we're good people.
Dan Conner: Yeah, but we're not practicing.