The Luckiest Dudes in the Goddam World

Coupla dudes find themselves locked alone in Camden Yards - get all the free beer they can drink, all the free food they can stuff in, can frolic about the outfield as they please, and use the infield tarp like a slip-n-slide.  Fucking hell. I couldn't even read the whole thing, I just KNEW I'd stumble upon "...and then we looked into the dugout, and Angelina and Jennifer were stripping down & oiling up with pizza grease..."