It is with great sadness that I pass along news of Xmastime buddy Marley severing ties with his beloved Redskins. Please join me in offering Marley condolences, and a shoulder to cry on. Sorry, brother. This is a sad day. :(
To my friends, and Barry 'Greg Brady' Williams, who hopefully will get this, although he hasn't seemed to have gotten any of the other messages I've sent him --
Redskins owner Dan Snyder, whom, I must say, I would like to see gussied up in a snappy little pair of pantaloons - although, to be sure, that's not important right now - has sued the owners of the newspaper which published this
http://mirror.washingtoncitypaper.com/articles/40063/the-cranky-redskins-fans-guide-to-dan-snyder.html
His suit (THAT'S an odd word here, isn't it?!?!? what, a blazer and matching pants???!?) can be found HERE.
Given this action, what I guess is the final straw, I am announcing that I will not root for the Washington Redskins again until Dan Snyder is no longer affiliated with the team, or until their colors are changed to lavender and puce. Just because they're not a good team doesn't mean they can't be pretty.
I was born in D.C. Yes, yes, I know that could be seen as "Dick Cheese." Everyone's a comedian. Actually, now that I think of it, that's pretty funny. In 1972, I ran away from home when the Redskins lost to the Dolphins in Super Bowl VII. Nobody noticed, because I also ran away from home blubbering like a sissy every time "Patches" came on the radio. Geez, that song was sad. In 1988, I invented The Robot, and danced in the streets of Capitol Hill after hearing Doug Williams destroy the Broncos over the radio in Super Bowl XXII. Then I saw a clip of the game. Doug Williams was black? What the hell?
Still, these important milestones must give way to the fact that the Redskins are owned by, in the words of John Riggins, "a bad guy." Also a bad guy: Ray Pruitt. How could anyone possibly shove Donna down a flight of stairs? Oooooh, I hate Ray!!!!!
Accordingly, I disavow the Redskins until Dan Snyder is no longer involved with the organization. Or the thing with the colors beng changed happens.
"Dick Cheese." ha haha. That's good.
MARLEY
3 comments:
The only true part of your bastardization of my statement was about me inventing the Robot.
Ironically, that was the only funny part as well.
"Then I saw a clip of the game. Doug Williams was black? What the hell?"
This was funny too. True, but funny.
there was no poppin' & lockin' til you brought it to the people!
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