"I'll tell you one thing, if I was ever to run for President of the United States, I think the first thing I would do in the first debate is offer my birth certificate, so we can get that off the table."I'd like to see that. Cause I think it would go something like this:
(Bachmann walks up to the moderator, dramatically pull out her birth certificate, waves it around for all to see, then slams it on the table, with a "NAILed it!" look of triumph.)
MODERATOR: What's this?
BATSHITTY: My birth certificate. I'm an American! (throws hands in the air, looks to crowd for roar of applause. Nothing.)
MODERATOR: Yeah. We know.
BATSHITTY: Well, here's proof!
MODERATOR: That's great. Can you get behind your dais, please?
BATSHITTY: The doctor signed it and everything (points to bc)
MODERATOR: Okay.
BATSHITTY: I just, you know, wanted to show proof of my citizenship.
MODERATOR: That's really not necessary.
BATSHITTY: Just in case, you know, anyone questioned it.
MODERATOR: I don't think anyone did.
BATSHITTY: Oh.
MODERATOR: Yeah, soooooo...
BATSHITTY: Well. It's here if you need to look at it.
MODERATOR: I don't.
BATSHITTY: Just saying...(starts walking to dais)
MODERATOR: Congresswoman?
BATSHITTY: (spins around - here's her moment!) Yes?
MODERATOR: You forgot this. (hands her the bc.)
BATSHITTY: Oh.
END SCENE.
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