One of my favorite things about being an American is that I have entire oceans to the left and right of me, Canada to the North of me, and what equals the entrance of a Wal-Mart to the south of me. This gives me lots of balls to talk about what a bad-ass I am, despite the fact that in almost 250 years, a single attack has made me completely shit myself with fear and made me undermine whatever was best about me as a country. Wow! I'm awesome!
At least I'm not those sissies in France, who by geography are actually threatened by what we pretend to give a shit about. Gosh, they must be pussies, right? How socialist, to actually be affected by what we've decided to be complete fucking pussies about! Les nuits, indeed, fairies!
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