Really? Doesn't the Cute Lil' Fucker Deserve Better?

This is a curious article over at Newsfeed.  First of all, "cuddly catastrophe"? I know he's just a polar bear, it's not like the President was shot, but is reporting on his death the time to hand the reins over to the fucking Care Bears? Wtf? Am I reading Dr. Seuss' Obituaries? "Oh, the wonderful, whacky ways we'll wave you And then this line:

Heiner Klös, a bear expert at the Berlin Zoo, said Knut was swimming in the water at the time, with more than 600 people looking on. NewsFeed can't imagine their shock when the celebrity bear collapsed.

What?  You're a news agency - what's with the overearnest emotion? You "can't imagine" their shock? Are you at somebody's aunt's funeral, or reporting news? And here's a thought - you don't have to imagine.  You're a reporter - how about ASKING one of the 600 people about their "shock"? What the fuck?