Come to Detroit for the Space, Stay to Get Shot in the Fucking Head

 

On Meet the Press a moment ago, Michael Bloomberg suggested that since there's nobody left in such a once-great city as Detroit, the federal government should let in as many immigrants as possible and put them all in Detroit, spending the next ten years giving it a rebirth, which of course would be of great benefit to the entire country.

That sounds good to me, but I still like my own plan:

I've noticed that after they turn out the lights at Ford Field tomorrow night and the auto industry cashes it in, Detroit will be pretty much empty. Detroit in the 60's was the 4th-biggest city in the country, so I'm thinking it can be stuffed with plenty of people - why not make all these people to whom the right to own a gun is more important than life itself move to Detroit? Other than a hunting rifle in rural areas, if you wanna buy a gun that's fine, but then you gotta move to Detroit, where there will be no rules: you and your fellow gun-toters can have absolute freedom to blow away whomever you want. Massive shootings in the streets? Go for it! Make up leagues with teams who just go around shooting the fuck outta each other - in other words hey, enjoy yourself! Meanwhile the rest of us can be left alone to do less important things like create industry and jobs, have families and, you know, live our lives as a society. A win-win, n'est-pas? Plus, the irony of such right-wing gun "enthusiasts" having to live in a city originally settled by of all people the French is too good to pass up, right?

Unless, of course, The Beatles get there first.