Friday, May 06, 2011

The Deathers

H8rs r gon' h8, which means they hafta have something to cling to, so of course they're screaming that they be allowed to see Osama Bin Laden's dead body. I'm all for not having blind faith in anything, and a healthy dose of skepticism towards anything the government does or says is fine.  But at some point, you have to ask yourself what possible reason Obama would have to lie about killing Bin Laden, and why it would even matter to you if he was.  As in, if Obama lied and he's still alive, the odds of Osama Bin Laden in any way directly affecting your life from here on out is about 0.01%.  Sorry, I know you think you're so important that Bin Laden's shakes his fists at the sky while looking at your Facebook profile, but you're not.  A week ago, what did Osama Bin Laden being alive have to do with your day to day life, other than only being able to bring 8 ounces of KY jelly on a plane?

But Bin Laden being alive and us finding out about it would mean 100% odds that Obama's life as he knows it would be over.  He'd be a disgrace, a universal joke whose name would forever live in shame.  So you have to ask yourself why he'd risk such a thing against a status quo of being a pretty celebrated president.  Hell, if you're looking to "get!" Obama, this is a win/win for you: either the worst villian in the world is dead, or there's a chance Obama will be embarrassed and run outta town forever.  So refuckinglax already.

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