Eff You, You Old Bag

Queen Elizabeth is visiting Ireland, making her the first British monarch to do so since 1906.  That pisses me off because I've never been to Ireland, which gave me and the Queen something in common. Never having gone to Ireland was "our thing,"and now we got nothing to bond over at parties anymore.  What the fuck?  First these assholes prance off to their honeymoon without me, and now this.  Am I being frozen out?  What'd I do?

"Which one of you dickheads told Xmastime?!?"