I Do Not Like Friday the 13th

As I've said before.

2) I’m a little weirded out by this being the 13th installment of “Things are Good.” I’m not saying I have triskaidekaphobia (the fear of the Number 13, eggheads) but I’m definitely aware of it. For instance, I avoid 13th floors. And my 13th beer is usually hard on me. If I have $13 in my pocket, I always get rid of one dollar. I don’t like that my first and last name combine to make 13 letters. Hell, maybe I DO have triskaidekaphobia. And yes, I’ve spent the last 5 minutes trying to make a joke re: triskaiDICKaphobia being the fear of chicks being scared of my 13-inch cock, but maybe it’s time to move on.

The Theodore pasta riff is killer, at least.