Panties.

I was just about to spend my next hour watching as part of the Intelligence Squared Debates "Does Freedom of the Press Extend to State Secrets?"  when it occurred to me you know what, not only do I have no idea what constitutes a "state secret", but if the press has found out about it, it's too late.  If you're working on some sort of eleventy-level chess game, then you'd better be really good at it; if not, then you probably shouldn't be there in the first place.  If the codes to the nuclear football are really as vulnerable as a shot of Lindsay Lohan's panties, then maybe some motherfucker is not doing his/her job.  And if Joe Q. Public gets his mitts in there, good for him.  Nobody ever fucking said Abraham Zapruder didn't like America.