8:27pm I know nothing about any of these people that I didn't know 27 minutes ago, or what they'd do if they were President, or a single specific idea about any policy they're asked about, but this Obama person they keep talking about sure sounds like the worst person in the world.
UPDATE: I stand corrected: Bachmann says she'd get rid of the EPA. Goodbye, oppressive clean air!
8:30pm Rick Santorum always looks like he just got punched in the mouth.
8:32pm Ooooh, Pawlenty got he biggest applause of the night so far: "We live in the United States of America." Good point, T-Paw - we DO live in the United States of America!
8:33pm Pawlenty just asked Herman Cain to give him first dibs next time he comes through with a fresh tray of bacon-wrapped scallops.
BUMPER STICKER THOUGHT FOR THE T-PAW CAMPAIGN: "Tim Pawlenty: Hungry for change in America, and bacon-wrapped scallops."
8:36pm Santorum was asked "Leno, or Conan?" And answered with "Gee, I dunno...Leno, I guess, but I don't watch them." I don't I've ever used the term "natural politician" before, and it looks like I won't be starting with Rock Santorum. In his defense, questions abuot late-night talk shows are very, very tricky.
8:42pm Bachmann used her time for a question to announce "Bloomin' Onion Two for Tuesdays!" at Applebee's all summer long. Nice. I love those fucking things!
8:45pm Based on how long these people think "30 seconds" is, good luck prying them out of The White House after four years if they ever get in. "Our National Irish Relatives."
8:46pm Unless I missed it in the beginning, Romney's the first one to say that people who think government can do things better than the private sector are wrong. Others groan with frustration, are now chomping to be the first to mention life begins at POKE on dating websites.
8:49pm Herman Cain says yes, the FDA should monitor food safety. I'm looking forward to Rush Limbaugh's "what about watermelon?" "joke" tomorrow.
8:51pm Newt just nailed the "Dancing with the Stars or American Idol?" question. God, he's good. Also, lucky - I guess someone else will hafta field the "first, second, or third ex-wife?" question.
8:55pm If Bachmann undid one button on her blouse, she'd get my vote.
8:59pm Rick Santorum just referred to himself as Rick Santorum. He's officially the Rickey Henderson of the race.
9:03pm Romney doesn't have an American flag pin on his lapel. Mormons hate freedom? Really? Hope the troops aren't watching, that would make them sad :( But seriously, I hope the troops aren't watching this. Haven't they gone through enough?
9:07pm T-Paw says God is in the Preamble to the Minnesota Constitution. "That's the only fucking place you'll find me in Minnesota," God answered.
9:08pm Santorum quotes James Madison, "the funny one from The Odd Couple."
9:10pm Herman Cain gets applause for being "for American laws in American courts." I'd look for an update to JFK's Profiles in Courage. Well, or it's stupid. Either way, I gotta try some of the Godfather's Pizza shit of his. Nom nom nom!
9:11pm Herman Cain: "No, no, you're restating something I did not say." Hmm.
9:13pm Cain just lost New York by answering "deep dish or thin crust?" with "deep dish." Also, 44 other states by being black.
9:18pm Bachmann has 23 foster children. If there's not enough voters right now to elect her so she can fuck this country up as President, she'll just buy them until there are.
9:26pm Ron Paul's act as the grouchy, lost old man who should've been in bed 6 hours ago isn't getting old at all. I'd love to know how many kid's balls he's had in his backyard all these years.
9:29pm Debate speak: "But look, let's focus on what the REAL problem is" = "I will now say words until you mercifully signal my time is up. Thank you."
9:32pm I miss John McCain being at these things. He was always the only one I could honestly say I could do more pull-ups than.
9:35pm Once again, Ron Paul is saying the government should "keep their nose out of the people's business!" Couldn't someone just have loaded that into a Chatty Cathy doll, let him stay home and fall asleep to Matlock? Poor bastard.
9:35pm T-Paw likes Coke over Pepsi. Would've liked seeing Cain answer that one with "Orange soda." Dammit!
9:43pm This is the worst collection of ties since
9:46pm Bachmann used her time for a question on Libya to make an announcement that the fifth caller into Q94's Morning Zoo tomorrow morning wins Bieber tickets.
9:48pm "My grandmother had a saying: 'It's a mess!"" Wow. How homespun. What other folksie sayings did she have up her sleeve? "Hello there"? "Sit down, it's time for dinner"? Black people really DO have their own sassy, colorful language, don't they? "It's a mess!' HA! I feel like I'm back in the cotton fields, talking in code in front of Massa!
9:56pm Setting up scorched Earth from Sniffy, the moderator asks who made the better VP pick in 2008. Luckily for them, everyone's instead using their time to remind us how terrible Obama is.
9:57pm Ron Paul sums up tonights debate by answering who from the dais he'd pick for a VP with "Well, I'd hafta learn more about everybody here."
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