Firejerks

THIS GUY HERE agrees with me: fireworks suck.

Lessons on Women # 3,199

The weird thing about fireworks is that no matter what, the ending is always disappointing, always weirdly unsatisfying. You turn to your friends and are like “…is that it? You think that was the finale? You think?” and then awkwardly wait around for a few more minutes before yeah, that’s it they’re done. Like when you’re fucking, and you think the girl is close to coming, you’re thrilled and then, like a sneeze cut off, not yet. You come babe? No. So you keep pumping, trying, trying. How bout now? No. Pumpity pump pump. Looking for that certain look.

Now?
No.
Close?
Yes.
Now?
No.
How bout now?
No
(from across the room) Now, baby?
No!
(from the can) Almost?
No.
(text the next day) Now?

And so on. Women and firecrackers: loud, handled by assholes and come once a year.