Oh, Come the Fuck On Already

They had the kid who caught Jeter's 3,000th hit on during the Yankees game, and since it's Jeter OF COURSE the guy didn't hold the ball ransom for mad $crillah, OF COURSE he simply wanted to give the ball to Jeter, because of how much he's meant to everybody and "Jeter deserves it", OF COURSE the kid's father goes on and on about what a great kid he was, never gave him any trouble.  For fuck's sake, I'm surprised the ball wasn't caught by a basket of puppies who were collecting alms for the poor.

When A-Rod hits his 3,000th, the guy who gets it will somehow use the ball to set up an entire string of children's sweatshops in China, probably ones that produce heroin to sell to kids, and we'll all be enraged at how un-Jeterish A-Rod is.

Of course.