I lost three pounds this week. Obviously that's not a deck chair on the Titanic, that's a piece of popcorn on a deck chair of the Titanic, but if I keep that pace up I'll be down to my goal in less time than it takes to film a season of The Real World, meaning I'll be tappity-tapping ass in historic numbers. If I was some of you ladies I'd make your claim for me now, so when I get my rockin' 6-pack abs I'll stay with you since you loved me when I was a tub of goo, for "who I am."
Obviously I'm lying, and whoever I'm banging when I get completely ripped I'll drop like gluten-free, whole wheat unprocessed flour.
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