"Golden locked"? This is what journalism has come to? Filling up space with notes about some guy's hair? Really? Gee, can I get some info on his breath? Also, guess what: IT'S NOT GOLDEN! It's brown!Foster McGinty no longer weeps - the guitar he lost on a city subway has been returned by a good Samaritan. McGinty, 26, who lost his Fender Stratocaster on a Manhattan-bound L train several weeks ago, was true to his word yesterday when he met the man who turned it in. The golden-locked musician gave the good Samaritan, Jeff Grzybowski, the $1,500 reward he had promised in a Daily News story last month.
I hope that wasn't a dog on the fact that the "hero" is not only bald, but looks like a Martian. Good lord, dude. Get a hat. With a veil - you're scaring little children, bro.
But this is the part I really love:
He added that some of the $1,500 will go toward Angelina's college fund.Oh, for fuck's sake - "some"? Really? By the time his 7 year-old daughter goes to college, the entire $1500 could pay for about 3 minutes of it. Why not say something interesting instead, like ""$1500? That's a lotta lap dances." Or instead of saying it'll go toward his daughter's college, say it's going towards her tongue piercing, which will "really give the boys a treat." I mean, for fuck's sake, if it was me, I'd say "oh, I guess I'll buy a lot of porn - and not that pussy American stuff, I mean some of that hardcore German shit-play stuff with wooden clothes-pins for nipple clamps, knowwhatImean?"
Life rarely presents chances for greatness. Don't blow them when they appear.
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