Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Operation Get a Goddam Girlfriend Already

I'm rebranding myself tonight, kicking things up a notch by making the move from OKStupid to Match.com, and Marley has been thoughtful enough to put together a...helpful...bio to post on it.
I am a 39 year old white male who is heavy but not fat, a former member of the military (not a particularly brave stint, though honorable) and football player (on the high school-ish level). I am from the South (Virginia), transplanted to Brooklyn 13 years ago. I work at _________ and live with two fifty year-old men.  I play in a band very occasionally, and though I cannot sing (really, not a lick), I insist on being lead singer. You can take that as a testament to my stubborn and determined nature or it may denote a little masochism. I have never been married, I have no children, though I have been a "Manny" to one for many years, and I just finished writing a book on just that subject.  It has been awhile since I have been in a relationship.

I do not smoke but I do drink, though I'm no Buchowski. I am disease free, and in fact have never had an STD, though I am occasionally plagued with Henry VIII's disease - gout.

I love popular culture, movies, tv, a wide variety of pop music, and I am an avid reader of history. I am a progressive liberal and actually do believe that most Republicans want to repress me. This makes me conflicted about Republicans, because while I abhor their values, I suspect I'm jealous they won't let me join their club (much like the Facebook guy in "The Social Network" - less the money).

I also have a blog, which is an outlet for my narcissism and need to write incessantly as a way to work things out in my head. The blog is here -- http://xmastime.blogspot.com/ -- and it is not daring so much as extreme in terms of musings on politics, sex, pop culture, sports, etc . . . It is me and it is not, in that, I do like to laugh and can be very politically incorrect, but I will not dwell on breasts, The Beatles, ballgames and belching to the exclusion of all else nor do I watch as much pornography as you might think if you read the blog.

I am looking for a nice, funny, smart woman who has similar interests, does not take herself deeply serious, has patience for someone who has been out of the game for awhile, and above all else, loves to laugh.

(and has big tits)

Joking. I kid.

2 comments:

Marley said...

I set you up. See your email. I deleted the "two fifty year old men" thing.

It is innocent, I know, but Ed Asner (circa Lou Grant) and Mike Farrell came immediately to mind.

Pops said...

That's brilliant. Well-done, Marley.