Tickle Me Fucking Oh I Give Up

On the Chinatown Bus today I was too distracted by events that I will soon reveal to you to read my book, so I found myself looking at the movie listings in the Daily News and saw there's a movie about the puppeteer who has been Elmo since 1984.  I immediately thought about spouting some h8 on Elmo; when he was about 6 months old I'd encourage The Short Bus to watch Sesame Street but would only become infuriated at the show seemingly having become The Goddam Elmo Show;  I honestly wondered if the little fucker was holding the show hostage by having pictures of Jim Henson sucking off some dude.

But then I realize the puppeteer's name is Kevin Clash.  Kevin Clash!  What?  You get rich and famous from sticking your hand up some puppet's ass and talking like a little girl AND you have the coolest fucking name in the world? Wtf??!!??