Hey, I Found a Quarter from 1965

Here's some things that happened in 1965:

- The Beatles released Help! and Rubber Soul, along with double-sided single We Can Work It Out/Day Tripper and the movie Help!
- Lyndon B. Johnson proclaimed his "Great Society" during his State of the Union Address; nobody shouted out "you lie!", presumably because he was white.
- Winston Churchill, in the news again, died; funeral takes place with the largest assembly of statesmen in the world until the funeral of Pope John II, still holds record for largest assembly of statesmen murmuring "you know, he really DOES look like every newborn baby I've ever seen" to each other.
- First American troops entered Vietnam, Jane Fonda.
- Malcom X is assassinated, leaving Malcom XI very nervous to go out in public.
- The Marches on Selma.  Her sister Patty, unfortunately, still couldn't attract any men.
- The Astrodome opens in Houston, doesn't help the Astros win dick and is a fucking pain in the ass to dust.
- The World's Fair opens in Queens, presumably to give Mets fans a reason to not hang themselves.
- First pictures of Mars taken exactly 7 years before my birth, prolly why I sent away for pictures of Mars in the 4th grade and didn't get laid until the following year. 
- Dylan went electric with Highway 61 Revisited, almost making his being responsible for the Wallflowers being unleashed on us somewhat bearable.  Almost.
- Lyndon Johnson signs Medicare and Medicaid into law; somewhere in Kenya a 4 year-old boy cackled with glee as his diabolical plan to destroy Jesus and his scrappy, lovable sidekick Baby Jesus by allowing people access to somewhat affordable healthcare was off to a great start.
- The Beatles played Shea Stadium; world record for women drenched in urine set, remaining unbroken until Chuck Berry and R. Kelly bump into each other backstage at a Flashdancers.
- Hurricane Betsy rips apart New Orleans; "she sounded like such a nice hurricane" disgruntled residents bitch and moan. Causes $1.42M in damage - "I think we can do a little better than that" a confident Yale sophomore avows to his fellow Skull & Bones chums.
- Castro announces anyone who wants to can emigrate from Cuba to the US; US scrambles furiously to tidy the place up.
- Pillsbury Doughboy created; decades later still a fat pasty fuck, shucking and jiving and making a fool of himself to get kids to eat what they'd walk barefoot for a mile over broken glass to eat anyway.
- A Charlie Brown Christmas made it's debut.
- Gemini 6 and Gemini 7 perform the first controlled rendezvous in Earth orbit; entire country is enthralled, only to be crushed when they break up only 72 days later.
- 70mph speed limit is imposed on British roads, fucking dumb crackers still drive on the wrong side of the road anyway.