I wanna quit drinking. Not because I'm an alcoholic, but so I can be incredibly judgmental and self-righteous. I don't really have a lot to hang over my friends. I'm not rich, or successful; I pretty much go through life like a fucking buffoon. But if I quit drinking and lorded it over everybody, then I'd have something! I just wanna be sitting around with my buddies, and when I hear one crack open a beer, loudly sigh, "great, HERE we go," and just act disgusted the entire time.
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