Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Good, Juicy Question

The TV Club over at Slat asks if Mary is a black widow:
Now I’m wondering if she wasn’t also realizing that she’s a bit of a black widow when it comes to men. Let’s look at her relationship history: Patrick, who she wasn’t in love with but was going to marry anyway, went down with the Titanic. Mr. Pamuk, who she wasn’t going to marry but did take to her bed, died on top of her. (As the dowager countess might say, trust a foreigner to take the little death too far.) Now Matthew, the only boy in the world for her, seems to have lost his manhood. Sir Richard Carlisle might want to check his life insurance policy.
Meanwhile, it was Mrs. Xmastime Sybil a few episodes ago who sniffled that "all the boys I've danced with are dead." Wtf is it with these girls? Can we assume that the one hick who Edith could get her mitts on has been run over by his wife on his own tractor?  Yeesh.

At least Sybil's dudes were killed in war; Mary's just have weird shit happen to them.  Killed in the most infamous ship sinking in history, and dying whilest fucking (DWF, trademark Xmastime 2012.) Meanwhile, Matthew can only WISH he'd died in battle instead of never being able to enjoy the pleasures of sweet, sweet stank again. Cruel.

And yes, if I'm Sir Richard, I'm looking up at the sky for falling anvils or grand pianos.

"Thaaaaaaaat's right, come a little bit closer...liiiiiittle bit closer....MWA-hahahahaha!"

2 comments:

ope said...

wait. i thought i called sybil.

Xmastime said...

when youre Xmastime, you get dibs. til then, tuff doo-doo.