Friday, January 20, 2012

Newt the Victim

This from moi (of course) last eyar:
David Vitter is back in the spotlight, what with people giving him and GOP leadership a lot of shit for his staying in the Senate despite breaking the law, while Weiner has been pushed out by his colleagues for doing a lot less.  I'd remind these people that Vitter is doing the right thing because God forgave him:

This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible. Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling. Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there - with God and them. But I certainly offer my deep and sincere apologies to all I have disappointed and let down in any way.
And while I may have had my doubts then:
You see that? He asked for AND RECEIVED forgiveness from God. Hmm. Really? He knows for fact that God forgave him? Can somebody please ask him how? Did God text him? I mean, did he really just say that? How can he say that and nobody asks him how this happened? And can I use this in court maybe? “Listen, your honor, I already talked to God and he forgave me for stealing the car, so you might as well let me go.” I guess him saying this horseshit makes it okay. Am I crazy, am I the only person on Earth thinking it's a bit much to believe that "God" reached out and spoke to this dipshit? A bum on the street talking to Jesus is "crazy", but we're alright with Vitter having God on his speed dial. Camon.
Obviously, I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about back then, in my silly youth.

When God forgives Anthony Weiner, then I can stomach having him in my Congress; until then, I've gotta get to a Newt Gingrich rally so he can explain what my family values should be, so if you'd please shut the fuck up I can get going. 
Now Gingrich is now  the hero of this crowd:
Hello, Sen. David Vitter, John Ensign, Larry Craig, and so on. Marianne is a Republican, so she probably hasn’t noticed that infidelity is no longer an electoral deal breaker, especially if you are a Republican, even more if you are a Christian who can claim having asked for and received God’s forgiveness. Who can fact check that? God’s not speaking on the record except to Tim Tebow. The Christian right bought it, which is why so many of their leaders tried to stretch biblical redemption far enough to encompass a thrice-divorced Washington insider who dwells among the infidels and makes massive amounts of money representing unsavory interests only to spend it on jewelry at Tiffany’s for his onetime mistress and now third wife. 
Note that Newt got a STANDING OVATION when snarling at the moderator last night during his Newtgasm.  Interesting.  The "Party of Family Values" is furious at "the liberal media" for pointing out Newt's hideous actions, but gives the man himself a standing ovation.  Preaching to and fooling stupid people is much easier than actually walking the line. In Newt's defense, I will say that it's solely his "is he gonna blow up like Christ Christie?!?!!?" presence that is making these "debates" even remotely entertaining.  Can we please get Sarah Palin on this show for the next round? Camon!!   If they can bring another chick onto The Jersey Shore, why can't they do this?

No comments: