I can never finish a fucking salad. At first I'm like "look at me, I'm eating salad! This is gonna be great! I'm gonna be so healthy!" Then I get tired and start eating only the "fun" stuff. Then I'm down to just lettuce, and I gnaw and gnaw and gnaw on it for like 20 minutes, but then I look and I don't seem to have made a fucking dent. Then it's just a pile of fucking lettuce, and I eventually give up.
Me. I'm really happening, aren't I?
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