It's the End of the World As We Know It, Oh Wait, Not Really, What?

For some reason, we're all supposed to be horrified! that Wal-Mart might be coming to that most precious of sacred college towns, Athens GA - ie, the town that R.E.M. built - because of it's long history of being, and I quote, "cool."  I know I'm on the old-man, uncool side of this since I wish I had a fireman's pole in my room that led down to the biggest Wal-Mart superstore in the world, so hey.

Hey, you know I loves me some R.E.M., and I'm usually one to fall prey to "why can't things be like when I was a youngster!" like anyone else, but - really? 2012, and we're doing the ol' "fight Wal-Mart!" fight? What?  Hey, everywhere in America at one time was "cool" and "quaint"; for Athens to have a three decade-long run in this day and age is to be applauded but not mourned. 

Of course, a quick scan of the article shows this:

But it’s important to note why some people want it. While Athens’ unemployment rate is about a percentage point lower than the national average (and 2 points lower than Georgia’s), the poverty rate is nearly 40 percent — the eighth highest out of 159 counties in the state. It’s an uncomfortable dichotomy that throws some cold water on the allure of the (largely white) downtown scene. At a commission meeting earlier this month, support for the project split largely along racial lines. “Small jobs are better than no jobs,” was how one black supporter put it.

Surely what Athens needs more of is hipsters who paint flowers on their bongos, and not the unseemly kind of workers and customers a Wal-Mart might attract.

Though I would think this would be annoying:

But the truth is, the downtown desperately needs more practical retail. Right now, there’s not even a grocery store, and there are more places to buy vintage skirts than paper towels.

But then, it turns out there's a Wal-Mart only four fucking miles away and nobody even knows for sure if Wal-Mart is coming anyway, so at this point who really gives a shit? The article goes from Drudge Report-esque red siren "Jews are gonna destroy the cutest town ever!" to "well, they just wanna make sure it fits Athens' aesthetic" to "well, nobody knows if it's coming." I skipped the last paragraph out of fear it would read "R.E.M. buys Wal-Mart superstore, heli-drops it on top of Wuxtry Records!", so maybe it's early to start panicking.

I will say this: right after I saw the article I moseyed over to King's Pharmacy, themselves under constant threat of being shoved out by Duane Reade, and R.E.M.'s The One I Love, the demarcation point for a lot of people for when R.E.M. went from being "cool, quaint upstarts" to "sell-out hacks" was playing. Hmm.

Hey look, I get it: white people are fucking insufferable.  I spent over two years in Oxford, MS, which liked to do nothing more than stand around being in awe of it being Oxford, MS ("We're the next Athens!") and Williamsburg, which makes Oxford feel like South Central. It's exhausting.