"I'm On No Sleep, Jerry. NO Sleep!"

According to this thing here:

This room, found at Orfield Laboratories in Minnesota, holds the Guinness World Record for being the world’s quietest, measuring at -9 decibels. By contrast, the bedroom in which you sleep at night measures about 30 decibels.

That's interesting. And by "that's interesting" I mean hey guess what: apparently, your roommate chomping and crinkling his way through a bag of fucking potato chips from halfway down the loft is much, much louder than 30 decibels. ALSO more than 30 decibels: the snoring that kicks in the second after the last chip is inhaled, all while you stare at the ceiling praying for sleep. Grrrrr.

UPDATE: Hmm. Suddenly, I have an idea.