Shit Tickets

Interesting (I guess) tidbit on the personal habits of the mean guy from American Idol:

Perhaps most bizarrely, it has been claimed that Cowell insists that only luxury black toilet paper is placed in the many bathrooms of his London and Los Angeles homes.

If that's the most bizarre thing about as guy who once called Paula Abdul a colleague, I can't say I'm missing hanging out with him in the locker room. Mostly, I have never, ever in my life seen black toilet paper. Of course, as a sexy layabout raconteur I have my opinions on any colored toilet paper:

2) I think a good barometer of how much money we misspend in this country is the fact that toilet paper has different colors and patterns. What is this for? You know there’s some companies whose sole job is to spend millions on figuring out the market etc “people like blue”. What the fuck. I mean, is there anything else we have ever created that has a more ignominious ending as a piece of toilet paper? You spend your life in the dark, rolled up tight with the other guys, and then the second you finally see the light of day BAM!!! You’re being scraped against someone’s asshole having shit smeared on you. The bottom line is always the same, yet for some reason we’re compelled to have different colors/patterns etc. “I’ll spend the extra 20 cents a roll if there’s sailboats on my tp.” Camon.

On a side note, that post includes my amazing riff on soccer. You're welcome, Earth.