Thursday, May 03, 2012

Dixie Ultra is Helping Us Get Fatter

I saw this commercial earlier for Dixie Ultra paper plates, which brags about being able to hold food that's 10X as heavy as what a regular paper plate can hold. For fuck's sake, what are you eating that requires a plate with the structural integrity of a fucking wire-cabled bridge? And I love the guy piling up steak after steak at the grill. Dude, you're grilling about 20lbs of steak, you're rich! You can afford a fucking platter to hold the goddam steaks! Or the fried chicken bit - YES, if someone drops a piece of fried chicken off the roof of my house I'm gonna need a very strong paper plate to catch it, thank you very much, Dixie Ultra!

Fucking hell. Who's the wizard at these meetings? Just when I was getting worried the USA has fallen behind in the gorging ourselves Olympics, we rocket back into first place by engineering a paper plate that in theory could catch a bear that's fallen out of a tree.

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