Oh, For Fuck's Sake

Last week I lightly made fun of Bristol Palin's absurd blog post on Obama's gay marriage stance, and now it turns out some idiots have played perfectly into the Palin Playbook of Victimhood by sending her death threats. For fuck's sake. You can't send death threats to someone, especially a kid - now you've got ME feeling sorry for her!!  Arrrgggh!!!!!

Sniffy-Wiffy must've felt like it was Christmas morning when she heard about these threats rolling in; I'm sure her elves have been cackling with glee while crafting her inevitable 12,000 word faux-indignant Facebook scorched-Earth scolding. Meanwhile, Lil' Sniffs gets to play the old "h8r's gon' h8!" card, which is her generation's spiking the football. Maddening. The only question is how quickly  Victim in Chief Sniffy will blame the left-wing media, the lamestream media, the media, non-real Americans, Jesus-hating Americans, foreigners, European foreigners, the French, people who like ice cream, A-Rod, Letterman, dogs with missing legs, dentists, clowns, rodeo clowns, clown college professors, Clowns for Literacy, shortstops, left fielders, gays, Gisele, the 1943 Chicago Bears, Asians, Koreans, Chinese, Japanese, birds, Eli Manning, Menudo, Johnny Carson, people that work at Frito-Lay, the Gilmore Girls (cast and crew), people that wear sunglasses indoors, animal trainers, Woody Allen, the Bad News Bears, The Bad News Bears remake, snakes, those things you shake up and it snows inside, bees, killer bees, killer whales, whales, Frank Whaley, popcorn, farts, armpit farts, squirrels, toilets that make you hafta hold down the lever until it's done flushing, cake, Tony Dorsett, Sweet Valley High, waiters, journalists and the president for what is surely a liberally-rigged attempt to crush the spirits of noble patriots and Jesus, along with his lovable, scrappy sidekick, baby Jesus.