Pizza Hut Hates Freedom?

THIS GUY HERE flew 7,000 miles to Dubai to try out Pizza Hut's cheeseburger pizza. Funniest line:

The time has come, I get in the elevator and head to the lobby, walk out to the cab stand in front of my hotel and ask the most Fat American question I have ever asked. “Can you please take me to the closest Pizza Hut?” The driver was embarrassed for me, he asked 3 follow ups about exactly where I wanted to go. It wasn’t a language barrier; he was disgusted.

This of course begs the question: I thought when it came to hideously gigantic portions of food that should in no way be put together for human consumption and is guaranteed to make our hearts explode into ribbons, America reigned supreme - so why is this thing available in Dubai and not the Good Ol' US of A? Same with the hot dog crust pizza ("with mustard drizzle!") available in England but not here. I mean, wtf - is this yet ANOTHER thing we've come to suck at as a country?