THIS MOTHERFUCKER turns 100 years old today; here's his resume:
As of 2011, Parker is the oldest living member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. As of October 2011, Parker is the oldest living former professional football player. As of May 8, 2012, he is the last living person to play on the same major league baseball field as Baseball Hall of Fame member Rogers Hornsby. On May 7, 1937, Parker appeared for the Philadelphia Athletics while Hornsby played one of his last games for the St. Louis Browns. Parker and Hall of Famer Bobby Doerr are the last men to play on the same field as baseball immortal Lou Gehrig.
"What is this, a potato?"
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