It's 104 degrees here in lovely Virginia, so of course at 11am I decided to roll into the McDonald's drive-thru in a truck with no a/c and get in line behind the world's most-stuffed soccer mom minivan. Realizing my mistake I thought to back out but ta-DA! was trapped by some fucker behind me. So I was writing out my will on the back of a lotto ticket since there's no fucking way I'm surviving this oven, when I noticed it hadn't only been a few minutes, but FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTES, and we hadn't moved!!! Not only that, but I saw that soccer mom in front of me wasn't even talking into the drive-thru speaker, she was just sitting there. What the fuck? I was about to snap and get all Gary Busey on her ass when from out of some side door a BK employee sauntered out, EEEEEEEEASY as you please, and started walking towards the drive-thru menu. Oh, I thought, the speaker must be broken, she's coming out to take her order like a waitress. No. Suddenly she flips the menu thingee around, and I realized it had been on the breakfast side; now that it was 11, they were switching to lunch. And so it occurred to me this fucking woman had been sitting there, holding up the line and sending me to an even earlier death than I was planning, because she couldn't fucking see the lunch menu!?!?!?!!!!!!! For fuck's sake - it's McDonalds!! You KNOW what they fucking have!! Were you asking for today's specials? The McSoup du fucking jour? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!
And of course, right on schedule, ie after ANOTHER fucking 15 minutes of melting, the girl at the window hands over her food. Four fucking Happy Meals. Which the bitch needed to see on a menu to fucking order. Of course. (Head exploding.)
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