Tits On a Bull

3) With warm weather coming up I’m bracing myself for the inevitable advice we’ll get during the first heat wave: “Stay inside with the air conditoning on.” Really? Wow, thanks! Cause I was gonna cover myself in maple syrup, put on my heaviest wool sweater and spin in circles on the baking asphalt for a while. Thanks! Jesus fucking christ. “Stay inside with the ac on.” If I could do that, Professor, then I wouldn’t give 2 shits about the fucking heat, now would I? That’s like if I wanna be a millionaire, “Have a million dollars in the bank!” Thanks, assface. - XMASTIME

Aaaaaaaaand right on schedule, we have some genius thoughts on beating the heat:

3. Get in the water.
While the big return of the McCarren Park Pool doesn’t happen until next week, the lesser known Metropolitan Rec Center pool is open as usual (261 Bedford Ave).

Thanks, professor.