Half-hearted Live-Blog of the Debate

9:04pm - Obama's "Happy Anniversary" joke fell flat. He sucks.
9:07pm - Romney's joke about the anniversary was even worse. So that's where we're at.
9:08pm - Romney just said "Yes we can help".
9:09pm - Obama shoulda made a "how was your anniversary with some of your wives?" Mormon joke. Opportunity blown.
9:11pm - I like that they have The Declaration of Independence in the background on the wall. And by that, I mean how cool would it be if the text is actually the lyrics to Crazy Train?
9:19pm - when does the debate start?
9:22pm - Romney just surprised the audience by telling them they're all going home with brand new cars. Obama's screwed.
9:24pm - if anyone out there is playing a drinking game with a shot each time Romney says "rates" or "small business", go ahead and call in sick for tomorrow. And Friday.
9:35pm - Romney just said he'd stop publicly funding PBS. Someone behind the scenes has to have the onions to turn the auditorium lights out just now. I mean, you'd be a legend, right?!!
9:40pm - For a Marxist Kenyan who hates America, Obama's a pretty boring speaker.
9:44pm - Was Obama the first to mention St. Reagan? HE WINS!!!
9:46pm - I know Obama can be a dull/wonky speaker, but the camera catching Jim Lehrer updating his MySpace page isn't cool.
9:52pm - Lotta talk about seniors for some reason. They're gonna be in college next year having the time of their lives, what the hell do i care about their health insurance?
9:56pm - Whatever Romney's been drinking, I'll take. Before my next marathon.
10:04pm - If this debate was acted out by these two ladies, this debate would be a lot more exciting. Just a suggestion.

10:11pm - Romney just said he prefers private insurance. Well, and private jets.
10:15pm - is Obama gonna mention the Mariah Carey/Nicki Minaj dust-up or not? I mean, wtf?
10:17pm - Romney just bravely said he "loves good schools", throwing away the people-who-hate-good-schools vote. Does this guy even HAVE political advisers?
10:22pm - Romney had me with all his promises of what he's gonna do until he promised to add 8 inches to my vertical leap. Seems like an over-reach.
10:30pm - Who neglected to advise Obama to pull out of the debate at the last minute, "hey - it's my anniversary!" I mean, election over, right? No husband would be allowed to even THINK about voting Romney!